The Resident posted a comment on Friday 8th September 2006 4:37am

Poor Neville. You just had to set Hermione on a problem, didn't you? Oh, well, it was an enjoyable scene. The hide and seek scene with Harry and Gabriel was cute as well. Keep up the great work. Hoping the girls are found soon and that they are in good shape.

Chris1 posted a comment on Friday 8th September 2006 4:29am

Nice chapter. Loved the interaction betwen the four at the end. :D

Chris

Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 8th September 2006 4:09am

This is such an excellent story - even if the chocolate sauce does stay disappointingly off-stage.
The scene with the Abbot was excellent - very smoothly done.

Thanks for your tremendous story telling, and kindness in sharing it with us.

Kokopelli replied:

The outline for the remainder of this story is posted on my LJ.   You'll note that the final scene is called "Chocolate in the kitchen."

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 8th September 2006 3:46am

Ah, I like this final version. I can see at least some of the tweaks made between what was in your LJ and this one and I agree they're for the better. I get the feeling the next couple episodes are going to be "interesting" as Harry and Gabrielle go into action.

The Resident posted a comment on Wednesday 6th September 2006 9:39pm

As always, you have an excellent story here. Yes, it is a 'sequel' to an earlier piece, but it stands on its own as well. I find it both enjoyable and intriguing. I am looking forward to the confrontation with the kidnapper and hope that all 3 girls will come through their ordeal with minimum damage. I also look forward to some information on H & G's wedding and their time together. Keep up the great work.

Darkness posted a comment on Sunday 3rd September 2006 7:04am

I hope the Veela twins are found before this Unai dude does something really bad to them. I just hate people like him!

I really like this story. Its funny, witty and very original. Actually, I've never read nor heard of anyone who has proposed on a pad! Simply brilliant!

Prince Charon posted a comment on Saturday 2nd September 2006 7:18am

Interesting.

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Saturday 2nd September 2006 5:43am

Another great chapter, I awaite your next update. Thanks for writing.

MPF

snuffles007 posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 3:19pm

Great chapter! Keep 'em coming!

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 12:41pm

Hide and...seek, is that what the kids are calling it now? I heard it was hiding something else, but...meh.

Excellent chapter. I like that Harry is doing good in addition to his babysitting, even if it is his beautiful fiance that he is sitting.

Thank you for sharing.

Mike (MoA)

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 9:43am

Nice interactions with Harry and Gabrielle again. Rather a surprising conversation to have in front of their boss, though. :-)

In this chapter, the investigation's been pared down maybe a bit too much for its complexity. Between the Catalan Ambassador representing the "Flock" and slavery and signature masking, that last conversation was just a bit too dense, IMHO.

But still, an excellent chapter. I look forward to more. Thanks for sharing it with us.

CootiePatootie posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 4:52am

Ah, a wonderful little bit of Harry/Gabby goodness. I like the whole "what are we" conversation - very cute. I'm one of those who think that your insertion of religion into Harry's life is both appropriate and well-done.

I guess I am somewhat thick today as I don't understand exactly what H & G are doing; I can't wait 'til the next installment to find out.

Cheers,

Cassie

Kokopelli replied:

They're trying to figure out just what is masking the signatures of the missing children.

Sonicdale posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 3:23am

I must admit this is getting better and better with each chapter.
You've progressed from a simple ship to a fun romp of catch the bad guy.

Looking forward to it.
Good work.

KateHC posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 1:55am

You got a chuckle from me (in the early morning in California) with Harry's comment about the wedding.
"As long as it doesn’t involve pastel tuxedos...."
He has the "Yes dear." downpat.

Interesting plot if a bit too close to the truth about kidnapped girls.

Kokopelli replied:

Write what you know.

Crys posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 12:07am

Loved the banter:
> "Well, last I checked you were a very desirable witch, and I’m told that I’m an erotic lump of magic," Harry quipped.
> "Uh, actually, I’m more of a nuzzle and grope guy personally, rather than, uh, the bind and beat thing," Harry said.


>"Uh, eclectic mongrels?" Harry suggested.
Isn't that the definition of "American"? :)

>Balendin Artzai died this morning;
Nit: Earlier, she rattled off his comings and goings as if she were constantly tracking him. If he had died early that morning, wouldn't she have known it already?

Fun story.

Kokopelli replied:

Gabrielle as I've envisioned her is a very tightly wrapped girl who appears cold and aloof to her associates, but once you get to know her is smart, funny and has a temper - who else do we know like that?

Eclectic mongrels - it's how I describe my own denominational inheritance

The first bit was on day one of the tracking - the death was on day three or four - and she'd still be able to track the signature of the corpse - she can't get much information out of most signatures - but we'll deal with that bit later (maybe)

Graup posted a comment on Thursday 31st August 2006 11:54pm

Enjoyed the chapter.

Hilarious if you are saying that Harry's wards are where the kids are hiding.

Ahh, mother's love - you've definitely got a point there.

Ken Warner posted a comment on Thursday 31st August 2006 11:39pm

so skillfully done - to stay within your rating and still portray the tension and love between them.
loved having the key come up from a conversation with the boss.

Kokopelli replied:

Well, supervisors have to be good for something.

UdderPD posted a comment on Thursday 31st August 2006 10:35pm

Yet another excellent chapter.

TTFN UdderPD

Amamama posted a comment on Thursday 31st August 2006 7:23pm

Wonderful chappie, and a size fit for enjoying together with a morning cuppa. Love the fact that Madame Artzai's promise to stay alive until her daughters were rescued worked, but what then? I'd say they'd need her badly then - so can Harry make her tweak her promise and thus be able to stay alive longer? And Harry and Gabrielle playing hide and seek sounds interesting, I look forward to see where you're going with that activity.

Thanks for sharing!

Berte

ichtys posted a comment on Thursday 31st August 2006 7:02pm

I like this story. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards Ichtys