Patches posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd March 2006 8:17pm

Ahh! the plot thickens. I like where this is going. Does it continue? Thanks for writing.
pms

Patches posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd March 2006 7:36pm

Ilike this format. Clare is a very smart little girl and I like the fact that she can see auras. I'm glad Harry and Tonks got married. This is good. Please continue.

Thanks for writing.
pms

Patches posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd March 2006 7:27pm

I like this story. It is tragic that so many of Harry and Tonks' friends and loved ones died but it is good to think that they may make a new life for themselves. I like the story that Harry adopted a little war orphan.

I wouldn't mind if you continued this story.
Thanks for writing.
pms

brad posted a comment on Tuesday 21st March 2006 10:54pm

Damn, I enjoyed reading this. Big grin on my face as I absorbed it.

I guess one reason why lies in it scratching the 'itch' I've had ever since I read the prologue - 'teaser' might be a better word - that you two dropped on Portkey lo, these many months past. I was quite taken by the proposed subject back then and was eager to see more.

It's an interesting plot line, too ... not the tried and true "Harry beats dark lord and graduates Hogwarts on the same day" cliche, something fresh.

Some of the good H/Hr authors have always said (even before HBP) that they believed that H/Hr would only eventuate post-Hogwarts. There's a sense of 'maturity' about this that's very appealing ... because they've grown up and are living as independent adults, I guess. Your Hermione in particular has evolved from the depend-on-teachers-and-authority-figures girl to becoming, in fact, the head authority figure.

I'm a H/Hr man by default, and one reason is because I see so much more 'history' between Harry and Hermione that can be capitalised by a good author were they to grow into romantic relationship. I'll read any good HP story, irrespective of the 'ship', if the author makes me believe in the attraction and that the girl is right for Harry ... it's just that - up until HBP, funny how I keep forgetting the sixth 'canon' book - I thought Hermione had the most material which a writer could use to mix into a romance. Another reason to like this. Even the faint reminder in their reminiscing and Harry's interrogation questions helped remind me of the depth of their past together.

And finally, unlike the bits and pieces you've given us lately, this reads as part of something big, that has one wondering throughout "I wonder what's going to happen next?". Maybe I've been reading too many drabbles lately and needed something with a more epic feel. Bittersweet reason, this last, of course, since we're unlikely to see any more of this story.

I'm particularly wondering, of course, on how Harry will get his magic back (never for an instant do I believe you'd leave him as a squib). If Hermione could never do much magic with a phoenix wand perhaps it's still a case of the wand being at fault. I think I remember Harry disapparating through the Hogwarts wards in the prologue - maybe his magic was 'stripped' off him by that act, and it's still trapped in the wards waiting to be re-absorbed. Maybe Harry's magic has grown back, and he hasn't noticed? Perhaps he's had it all the time, and it's just a mental block which is precluding him from using it (the melodramatic part of me - I'm getting worse every day - can see him suddenly breaking the mental barrier and finding his magic to defend Hermione in a time of crisis ... sad, aren't I?). I guess I'll never find out.

And I would have liked to see them together, too; wonder what would be the ice-breaking even that would do it for them? Although Harry's already admitted that the 'best friend' filter is off ... I enjoyed the little 'together' H/G moments in TLOS and would have liked to have seen your H/Hr version.

It was nice to see Moey again, too, even if it was in a different universe.

A bit of suspension of disbelief required to hold that an eighteen year old schoolgirl would be appointed to head a nation -- not that I don't believe Hermione capable of the job - if anyone could do it, it would be her, and I liked how you presented the case/history of that in such a matter-of-fact manner - but I can't see a society populated by adults up to 160+ years in age permitting it.

Actually, thinking about it, I thought the prologue was aimed at the two of them having to (struggle to) 'rebuild the wizarding world', but from this chapter it seems like everything is running fairly smoothly - nice office environment, civilised times and meals, secretary, etc. None of the dystopian feel that I thought you two were going to be aiming for.

Thanks for releasing the snippets, it made for a good read.

Kokopelli replied:

Note that this is the first part of Chapter 5 - in the next part of Chapter 5 (outlined but not written) there's an attempted kidnapping where Hermione is the target - Harry discovers that his magic is not quite gone.   The problem in Chapter 1 came from magical exhaustion - when Harry put his wand away for two years his batteries recharged.

I enjoyed this story, but I didn't want to write it alone - if Mr.Intel wants to kick this back into life, I'll start working on it again.

JEC

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Tuesday 21st March 2006 6:19am

Very good. Can't wait to read more.

gunny

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Tuesday 21st March 2006 5:58am

Interesting.

gunny

Gardengirl posted a comment on Tuesday 21st March 2006 1:21am

Wow! I'd love to read the rest of this! Thanks for sharing :D

Michelle

jilumasam posted a comment on Monday 20th March 2006 1:14pm

I originally left you a review in your lj. I've read this pair of "drabbles" again and I enjoyed them much better on the second read through than the first.

I have come to the conclusion that although they could become part of a longer story, they really don't need to.

Lizzy

jilumasam posted a comment on Monday 20th March 2006 1:10pm

An interesting pair of chapters. I like the idea of Harry losing his magic - makes a lot of sense when I sit and think about it.

I'm not sure if I ever want to find out what happens from here on. Sometimes the joy of reading these stand-a-lones is the fun you have in constructiong your own endings...

Lizzy

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 20th March 2006 10:48am

Outstanding, that was really good.

gunny

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 20th March 2006 10:37am

Very good start.

gunny

irile posted a comment on Monday 20th March 2006 1:58am

Hi There

Loved this one, I have to say that it is beautiful. Clarissa seems to be a very bright girl and I liked how you make Harry and Tonks come together. I liked this one better than hero, widow and Orphan.
I also liked that clarissa see colours, or auras, magical auras I suppose. Can she see muggle colours too?.
Good Story

Laura

Steven Augart posted a comment on Monday 20th March 2006 1:48am

I enjoyed the story, just as it stands. Thanks for writing and posting. I like this format.

Manatheron posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 7:39pm

cute

ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 4:52pm

Why is it that this vault contains more treasure than is accessible to the masses?

In other words: Wow! These are excellent ideas! If you don't plan to release them beyond the niblets here, why not release them as is, separately, in what few chapters exist?

Each of these ideas are so good, so worthwhile, that I need to review them separately. I hope I managae to do so.

Crys posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 12:19pm

Interesting premise you two were building.

I know I recognize Moey from somewhere. Presumably one of your (or MrIntel's) recycled characters.

Neat idea.

David Thacker posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 10:41am

Are there more to this chapter and the one before it?Thank you for this story and the time and effort that you have put in to it.Please ignore any and all flames.Enjoy your self when you write and have fun in your life when you can.

The Resident posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 8:52am

Thank you for another lovely piece from your 'vault'. Maybe someone with more imagination and ability than I have will be able to do something with it. All the snippets you have presented are worthy of becoming full blown stories (if not novels) -grin-

FenrisWolf posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 7:37am

It's a shame this was abandoned; it's very well written and a reasonably fresh take on their post-war relationships. Meghan is definitely an enjoyable Original Character, and having her as Harry's Chinese Obligation (when you save someone's life, you're responsible for them) adds an interesting dynamic to Hermione's attempts to reconnect with Harry.

Abandoned or not, it was an enjoyable read. Perhaps someday you or your partner will decide to continue it. It's certainly worth the effort.

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 7:20am

Very good couple of chapters. Pity about the rest of the story. :-)

I'm assuming that Moey in this one is just a re-used character and that this isn't a sequel to Letters of Summer. I just can't see Letters ending up here with this 'flavor'.