yentila22 posted a comment on Monday 4th May 2009 5:00am for Chapter the Fourth

Your story is fantastic, I cant wait to see how it plays out. Your Lily/Harry character is so original.
I have always been a big fan of your stories. You will be missed

Deborahsu posted a comment on Sunday 8th March 2009 11:38pm for Chapter the Fourth

Everything went like clockwork and we finish up with "Where's Harry?" My goodness but you excel at cliffhangers! I guess we'll have to wait to find out ... I'll be waiting, patiently or not!

peruvianprincess posted a comment on Sunday 22nd February 2009 6:51am for Chapter the Fourth

Ooo...That was one mean cliffie. Here I thought you were really winding down the story and you handed this to us. Love it!

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Saturday 21st February 2009 4:45pm for Chapter the Fourth

Good chapter. Blowing up DEs with muggle means is always fun. :-) Evil cliff-hanger, though.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

JBern posted a comment on Friday 20th February 2009 3:33pm for Chapter the Fourth

Always nice to see another chapter. You do have a way of getting into Hermione's mind that really helps tell the story.

Please don't get me started on book 7... We don't need to go there...

brad posted a comment on Friday 20th February 2009 10:08am for Chapter the Fourth

Starting from the end ... I'm don't recall anything you've previously said about DH - if you put up your opinion on your LJ blog after it came out I guess I've forgotten it - so I was interested and pleased to read your "deus-ex-machina of the ‘Deathly Hallows’ has so many logical inconsistencies that I can’t even begin to unravel them" comment. I'm in total agreement. I never really got into the fandom forum thing until the last ten months or so, but I've had particular pleasure in tearing DH apart in a "Can't Stand DH" forum. It honestly amazes me sometimes that Rowling 'got away' with her last book (or even two, although DH is in a league of its own with regard to flat-out objective errors).

I liked your additional details to the understated H/G thing in this instalment. Using of the 'el word' was a big step up in my opinion (taking away one of the best attacks against canon H/G :-)). The couple's eschewing 'public displays of affection' is also much more in-line with my own personal model of a sincere and authentic relationship, frankly. I thought Ginny's running away in a tantrum and the Ginny!inverted logic was juvenile ... but so is Ginny. As long as you don't post blog entries after the end of this story indulgently assigning labels like 'soul mates' and 'perfect for each other' to what I see *here and now* as a romantic partnership in its early formative stages I'll be happy. :-)

I guess. :-)

I *am* curious as to Lily's "false assumptions about the relationship" ... wondering if they were congruent with mine. :-) Maybe one day I'll get a chance to ask Lily herself what she'd been thinking and how Ginny put her more at ease regarding her son's romantic life?

I had to laugh at this:

> I wondered if his immaturity would drive me crazy — or crazier.

Well, poor Hermione went crazy in HBP itself, but she seems better now. You've certainly matured Ron, which makes the H/Hr much easier to swallow.

Well, I guess that's all -- hmmm? Oh, this story's about more than just HP romantic pairings? Sorry. :-)

There's a few fanfics around which bring muggle technology into the wizarding milieu, but quite often they're unbalanced efforts, barging in and startling the reader with the abrupt transition. In your story you've certainly given us all the information we need on the muggle components of our good guys' efforts regarding the 'horcrux smashers' and the trap. Having Hermione as the narrator really helped in that regard - was that one of your reasons? I guess you needed someone outside the H/G/Lily tension too? - since she would make the use of the muggle technology seem much more natural and obvious. Ditto Lily as a muggle-born too.

Of course it's hard to keep a combined Muggle/Magic story going if the first attack or two doesn't finish things, because then you'd have a case of each side escalating their use of muggle technology, I'd imagine. Unless there are no muggle-born or muggle-raised in the ranks of the DEs ... which makes sense, come to that. But they could always imperio a muggle ... like an army general. I'd guess a story that dealt with a protracted engagement after each side has taken to employing muggle technology would become a monster, and hard to keep realistic.

Interesting how you've got them blowing up Riddle without too much concern as to whether all the horcruces have yet been destroyed. 99.99% of all fanfics require every last soul container to be neutralised before a move is made on the Dark Lord himself. Has your story addressed this decision in any more detail than Harry's rather casual consideration of surviving horcruces? That and a way to *know* that all of Riddle's soul fragments are accounted for?

(Myself, I agree with what I think your Harry & Co. are surmising; even if a horcrux or two is still around they can take their time finding and destroying them while Riddle-proper is floating around as a helpless spirit?)

So ... Harry's missing? I'm not sure what Ginny had to do with putting a 'trace' on Harry; I guess we'll find out next chapter. If you have her charging over the hill to Harry's rescue I *do* hope you make it believable ... such would be awfully close to the worst-case prediction I had for HBP prior to its release. :-( And by the way, in DH it's made clear, I think, that THE TRACE (another abrupt canon injection by an author who needed a contrived way to move the plot along the way she wanted) is placed on the *wizard* and not his wand. But you're eschewing DH canon, so that's cool; I don't think we were ever really told in the first six books how the 'under age magical detection' thing really worked?

Well, enjoying the story, wondering what's up with Harry and looking forward to - and maybe dreading, viz the 'Ginny Weasley to the rescue!' possibility - the next chapter. :-)

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 20th February 2009 5:16am for Chapter the Fourth

Agreed, the Hallows were so much red herring for the most part, though maybe if not had been made of them in the earlier books, but brought into the last book as a huge deus, no thanks. Will look forward to what all this will mean for the gang next time, where might Harry be, and what all will go down with he and his Mum as they continue to share the body.

Kokopelli replied:

The last chapter is waiting in my betas' in-baskets.

Thanks for reading.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 20th February 2009 4:16am for Chapter the Fourth

Hmm, you do wonder where Harry got to after all this. I hope it's *not* chasing after Tom, but that's unlikely given his luck. It should be rather interesting to see how matters evolve from here and who, if anyone, at that get-together managed to survive. FAE does make for a quite nasty explosion, doesn't it?

Kokopelli replied:

Oh yes, FAE is quite dazzling - just the shock wave alone shreds most everything in its path.

As to where Harry goes - where do you think?

K

Ravenclawchaser68 posted a comment on Friday 20th February 2009 1:29am for Chapter the Fourth

This is a great story, it was nice to see more of it. You don't see too many stories written from Hermione's POV, and I think you've done a good job of it. It sounds like her voice, and that's one of things that really separates good fanfiction from just half-decent. Thanks for writing!
Jay

Kokopelli replied:

I discovered when I was writing TLOS that I really enjoyed the portions that were written from Hermione's POV.   Why more fanfic writers don't take advantage of this, I don't know.

nfk posted a comment on Friday 20th February 2009 12:55am for Chapter the Fourth

Just saw that you added a chapter and then realized that I hadn't even read this story yet. I quickly remedied that.

I really enjoy the story coming from Hermione's perspective and the Harry/Lily angle. And I like the solution with the Death Eaters, blow 'em up first, sort everything out later!

Of course, nothing ever goes as planned. I look forward to see what happens next.

Kokopelli replied:

Of course, no detailed plan survives contact with the enemy.

After that it's all jazz - you make it up as you go along.

Patches posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 8:10pm for Chapter the Fourth

Wow! A lot going on. Now that Lily and Harry can come and go as they please things will be different. I'm glad Harry spoke to Ginny. It sounds like something Harry would say. I hope Harry is ok. Now everyone will be upset until they can find out where Harry is. Did Snape go up with the rest? It certainly looks like it. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. pms

Kokopelli replied:

Yes, Snape died.

jilumasam posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 2:02pm for Chapter the Fourth

Very interesting concept and some great writing here!

Glad to see you are committed to finishing off this story.

Liz

Kokopelli replied:

Thanks for your kind words.

KateHC posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 1:52pm for Chapter the Fourth

You've written a tight chapter with intriguing plot development. You do Hermione's POV very well. What a cliffie-
"

" I scanned the room and then shouted, to be heard over the chaos.

"Where’s Harry?"

Kokopelli replied:

Cliffhanger?   What cliffhanger?

Carol Layland posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 1:34pm for Chapter the Fourth

A very nice well written story with a very nice and unique approach to the problems that Voldemort presents. I especially like lily.

DrT posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 12:54pm for Chapter the Fourth

I take it Harry and/or Lily are after Voldie?

Again, an interestng take one year 7

BJH posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 12:44pm for Chapter the Fourth

Nice chapter and a very well thought out plan of attack. I wonder what part of it didn't survive the first shot?

With Lily and Harry being able to flip back and forth, I get the feeling that history will repeat itself and Lily will flip in place to take Harry's place and be hit by an AK. Or perhaps the other way around?

BJH

Wolfric posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 11:27am for Chapter the Fourth

I do hope with an evil cliff hanger, you will continue your more rapid release of chapters.
Thanks for the great chapter. So when Voldemort hits Harry/Lily with an AK which one does he kill? W.

David Najarian posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 10:44am for Chapter the Fourth

Excellent chapter as always (or at least as always as 4 chapters can get). Excellent story delvelopment, and I love the cliffie!!

amulder posted a comment on Thursday 19th February 2009 6:39am for Chapter the Fourth

John, I hate cliffies. Really, I do.

It's too easy. so what next, is the question...
You're not typically bloodthirsty, so I'm curious as to how you'll proceed.

Glad to see another chapter. The whole schizo-Harry/Lily thing is sure interesting. Do we stay with status quo, lose her, or somehow transfer her into another body for a more permanent solution? Hmmm.

Kokopelli replied:

You tell me.