jakjakattk posted a comment on Monday 31st December 2007 12:34pm for Chapter the Second

you jave interesting story here. I await the final verdict on, if I like or love your ideas unit I can see more of your story. Keep up the great work and let me know if I could help you. You have left open a lot of new ideas that can be used. hopefully you haven't given up on this story yet. there is still so much that can be done with it..

Jack
E-mail:
jakjakattk@comcast.net

ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Monday 24th December 2007 6:50am for Chapter the Second

I hope that, unlike ff.net, a reader can leave more than one review for a chapter.

I reviewed a few minutes ago, when I had read (or re-read, I forget sometimes) only about a third of this chapter. I love what you did with the rest of the chapter.

This chapter proves that battle scenes or action-based frenzies are not required to move a good story along.

Normally, I try to end a review with thanks for the writer's effort, and not with something like "write more!" or "when's the next chapter going to be out?" So, thanks for writing. I do like your work immensely, and am grateful when a good writer delivers work for free.

HOWEVER, it's been five months... could you post a progress report in the forums? Um... wait, maybe you already have. I'd better check.

Thanks again!

Kokopelli replied:

I'm about half-way through the third chapter - I still have to use a blow-torch on Snape, you see...

ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Monday 24th December 2007 6:39am for Chapter the Second

I obviously did not give this chapter due attention when you released it in July. Nor will my commentary now do justice to the work. Nonetheless...

Very, very good. Considering how little is written in canon about Lily, your characterization is amazingingly "right". Your Harry and Hermione are spot on with my own images. Where your Remus differs from canon - i.e. caring about Harry - I prefer yours.

Lastly, you're doing well evolving the characters beyond what's known of them, extrapolating in a very natural way.

As for plot and scenes... your primary plot device (Lily's horcrux) is brilliant, and your arrangement and construction of scenes has athe polish of experienced writing.

My apologies if this review sounds a bit off. I'm feeling rather multi-syllabic today, and it appears to have colored my tone here.

Roberta Johnson posted a comment on Wednesday 17th October 2007 5:54pm for Chapter the Second

Well, this is very interesting!

The Resident posted a comment on Wednesday 5th September 2007 2:40pm for Chapter the Second

Quite interesting and enjoyable. I eagerly await the upcoming chapters.

laurie posted a comment on Wednesday 25th July 2007 2:30pm for Chapter the Second

"Everybody knows it’s one Horcrux, two Horcruces, but I’m trying really hard to not be a swot this year." (from ch. 1)

Perfect - just how I imagined Hermione! Smart people are usually very funny and you've done a perfect job of keeping her in character while developing her further and making her funny. It's rare that you see a 1st person Hermione story that is this good. I'm really enjoying her take on things!

More ... more!

brad posted a comment on Tuesday 24th July 2007 1:47pm for Chapter the Second

I've always been a bit suspicious about mechanical means of destroying horcruxes, be it through force, fire, acids, et cetera. Presumably there's a spell to set one up, so one would expect a spell would be required to destroy it as well. Or, if souls *can* be affected by the purely physical, why haven't we muggles seen/measured/weighed one by now?

On the other hand, nature - or the magical world - doesn't have to symmetrical just because that's the process which looks the tidiest, and it *does* make sense that the destruction of its physical container would leave the soul fragment in a delicate unstable state, liable to disperse by itself.

You've got me wondering what you're going to do with Lily, if anything, if she doesn't *have* to stay in Harry's body.

I'm looking forward to reading *some* comment on Harry's falling for a girl who looks a lot like his mother, please please please ... :-)

Kokopelli replied:

My thought, before reading DH, was that VMort would be very clever at making the Horcruces immune from most magical means, but wouldn't think of lasers, cutting torches, or other muggle inventions, having been cut off from the Muggle world for years.   I originally wanted to use an industrial cutting laser, but that took too much plotting.

Lon Huey posted a comment on Monday 23rd July 2007 1:23pm for Chapter the Second

I really don't think I could win an argument with Hermione, so I won't even try.

Chris1 posted a comment on Sunday 22nd July 2007 9:55pm for Chapter the Second

Interesting.

Can't wait to see how Ginny reacts to Lily *grin*

Also, you brought up Lily being distressed by seeing James' face when she looks in the mirror.

Will there be a "Ginny looks like Lily" moment?

Chris

Kokopelli replied:

The point is, contrary to Fanon, that Ginny _doesn't_ look like Lily, apart from both being female and both having somewhat red hair.   Ginny's hair color, in canon, is red, like a tomato, with a heart-shaped face, and Lily has darker hair, and a narrow face, somewhat like her sister (Petunia).

Patches posted a comment on Sunday 22nd July 2007 9:20pm for Chapter the Second

This is a good story. I look forward to the next story about Lily and Ginny. This is a great way for Harry to interact with his mum. Thanks for writing. pms

Deborahsu posted a comment on Sunday 22nd July 2007 12:12pm for Chapter the Second

This is an interesting little story! Adding Ginny into the populace should be interesting ... especially since she'll meet Lily with NO warning and probably want to kiss Harry!

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Sunday 22nd July 2007 11:07am for Chapter the Second

Good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Saturday 21st July 2007 12:26pm for Chapter the Second

*laughs* I love that that Harry and Lily are sharing each other's dreams. I rather imagine their both learning things about each other that mothers and sons don't normally learn. ;) I like using purely non-magical means to destroy the horcruces as it seems so appropriately fitting.

I can't wait 'til the next chapter 'cause Lily vs. Ginny is going to be great fun to read. I suspect Ginny is going to find a lot of her thinking sharpened by it and I suspect Lily is going to gain an appreciation for Ginny and what Harry sees in her.

KateHC posted a comment on Saturday 21st July 2007 10:28am for Chapter the Second

Reading your A/N is nearly as much fun as the chapters.

Good story, even if I am reading it after being blown away by Deathly Hallows. I appreciate your Lily and Hermione.

Amamama posted a comment on Saturday 21st July 2007 1:57am for Chapter the Second

Love your non-disclaimer, absolutely cherish Hermione's view on Latin - and find the story wonderfully amusing. How long will this H/L switching go on? Until LV is defeated? Anyway, I enjoy following this path of yours, and are awaiting the final goal...

Thanks for sharing.

Cheers! :)

AmeSuisei/AdronTaltos/CarlOort posted a comment on Friday 20th July 2007 11:32pm for Chapter the Second

vedy nice.. Cant wait to see Lilly and Ginny interact.. though for some reason i get the feeling lily will want to kick ginny out of her body and take over... but thats just me. :-p

amulder posted a comment on Friday 20th July 2007 10:26pm for Chapter the Second

Hey John,

Thanks, amazon hasn't arrived yet, and this is a good distraction to avoid reading Parakletos' review in Livejournal...

Turning into a nice little short story.

best,
...art (gotta go, my wife is giving me the "I want breakfast")

Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 20th July 2007 4:51pm for Chapter the Second

Well this method seems to be safer than crushing and incinerating with magic; plus there is a certain resonance to destroying part of voldemort using muggle means. I enjoyed the chapter. Tanks for writing. W.

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Friday 20th July 2007 4:18pm for Chapter the Second

Excellent story. I like your take on this scenario.

Thank you for writing.

Mike (MoA)

anonymous5 posted a comment on Friday 20th July 2007 4:09pm for Chapter the Second

Lovely chapter to help me get over the line being far too long at the bookstore for me to get any sleep before work on time in the morning. stupid priorities. One microscopic nit to pick: it's Lara Croft, not Laura. Thank you very much for posting; as always, an utter joy to read your work!